Back In The Day Voice
This is a short story
written in my mid-teens **with corrections**
What I don’t understand is why me. How come I have to be the
one with all the limitations? I’m a good person aren’t I? I pray to God
everyday for people to be okay, to have good luck, or just to find the missing.
But when I pray for myself, my prayers seem to be unanswered, unfulfilled. How
come I have to suffer while seeing others happy? Disappointment. Now that is a
feeling that has been present since the day I can remember. Almost everyone
around me has left me disappointed, and why is that? Well I do not know. I
figure karma is taking a huge bit out of my ass for one of my past lives. But
that raises another question; how come we have to deal with issues of the past?
How come I can’t just live my life with the mistakes I’ve made and not someone
else? I want to start my saying my name.
My name is…I live with both of my parents, an older brother,
a younger sister, and I can’t forget my dear cat. I bet you want to presume
that we are the perfect family, however we’re not. I guess you can say that no
one has a perfect family and mine is far from that dream. My mother and father
fight constantly but are adamant about not getting a divorce. They are
determined to stay together and make my life miserable. My little sister is
annoying as hell. I swear you cannot go anywhere without her trailing behind
you. Yet I have to say, my brother is my idol. For lack of better terms he is
my “ride or die”. The only one who knows me. The only one who understands. What
I would do if he weren’t by my side; I do not know. I know we will be there for
each other through thick and thin, to the end. I have friends. Actually, let’s
just call them close acquaintances. In my mind I don’t consider them friends,
however, the way I act around them you would think otherwise. I am not fake or
two-faced by any means I just take friendship seriously.
There is this girl I know. She is the same age as me, same
height, and eye color as me. We walk the same and talk the same. There is
nothing different about us except for this; I live in the real world and she
lives in my dreams. This girl goes through a rollercoaster ride of hardships.
All in life she has never gotten what she wanted. Nothing she needed. She wants
to live in a world where she doesn’t have to feel like she isn’t good enough.
This girl was the person I was going to be, the person I was on the verge of
becoming. But that was in the past and I have changed. I’ve become a better
person, more confident in myself and those around me. But why is this girl in
my head, you ask. If what happens in the past stays in the past, why does she
reappear every time I close my eyes? I have found the answer; you tend to hold
on to the most significant parts in your life, good and bad. That is what I
have done. I’ve put all my problems I have faced on this poor girl. I need to
remind myself that I will never become her. I need to remember what to do and
what not to do to achieve this goal. She has made me see. She has made me
realize that I am somebody. Yay me J
